Whatever it is

Sometimes, you just need people to trust in you you said.

Sometimes, i just t hope you don't rush me so hard.
Is not easy to let a human to trust people again and again so easily.
Some more i have my own feeling .

I worry what we need to go through again , i worry we need to repeat all those scary dreams again,
I worry we can't sleep every night and nightmare disturb again.

I trust you very much .
I have no more friend , those close friend that can really talk with. NOBODY.

Is just you.

You can know how important you are in my life.
Why would I not trust in you ?

Sometimes, just hope you can try to listen to me but not busy debating with me .

Is not that i do not trust in you.
But , every time i trust you so so so hard, and yet fell so so so hard.
and the second time, third time , fourth time................ and now,
 I am tired. I am confused. I am worry.
You make me feel like i am a fool, like a sample white rat.
 for you to keep doing the experiment.conclusion will be success or failed.
If it is sucess. then good. But if is not. Things repeat.

And you want me to trust you again INSTANTLY after the trust was broke.

Somehow, i feel like i am a toy.
You said you can do it once. why i do not trust you and let you do it again .
So am i only that important ? only this much of love you did for me ?
to risk me into the nightmare again ?

Everytime , you prove me you are not them , THEM.
But, you are repeating what they done to me. sometimes, even worst.

I AM CONFUSE AGAIN.

I am really really broken into pieces.
Dont feel like doing anything, don't feel like explaining.
It will never work anyways.

Thx God I still know how to cry .
At least the tears talk to me while nobody even cares.